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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998720">House's Game</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerrone/pseuds/Cerrone'>Cerrone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>House M.D.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:00:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28998720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerrone/pseuds/Cerrone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Season 4, Episode 8: You Don't Want to Know where House challenges his fellows to steal Lisa Cuddy's thong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lisa Cuddy/Remy "Thirteen" Hadley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Thirteen, as she had recently become known, was sitting in the lecture hall with the remaining five candidates who had made it this far in House’s games. Initially fellows had been cut for arbitrary reasons, in groups of five and ten at a time. She had watched numerous capable doctors walk out of the hospital after being fired by House, she often wondered what the mountain of paperwork looked like that must follow him around. The paperwork for ceasing contract with 35 fired fellows would be formidable, outside of all the less-than-ethical medical decisions House made on a daily basis. No wonder Cuddy wanted to stay out of his way as much as possible, you know, within reason. If there were rumors of him torturing a patient or performing unnecessary, dangerous procedures Cuddy would be there to try and stop him. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not. For now Foreman sat up the back of the lecture theatre reading a newspaper, keeping an eye on House and reporting back to Cuddy. Thirteen knew Foreman and House had some sort of history, but also a deep and unspoken respect for each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The past few weeks at Plainsboro Teaching Hospital had been a blur of patients, tests, and a bottomless pill bottle being pulled out of House’s coat pocket several times a day. He clearly had a problem, though it seemed to either not affect his ability to diagnose even the most difficult cases, or aided him immensely. Who knows what he was able to see through that perpetual fog of Vicodin keeping him so alert. Working alongside House, if that’s what you could call this, had been what she was expecting and more. He was a brilliant doctor, and an insufferable jerk. The endless and arbitrary games he put his fellows through were increasing in absurdity, no doubt in order to satisfy his need for entertainment at other people’s expense. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right now they were discussing a magician who had come in after suffering a heart attack during one of his shows. House seemed completely disinterested, and was instead riding around the front of the lecture theatre on a scooter talking about his next challenge. Thirteen wondered when and how he thought them up - was he musing on them in the hours between shifts at the hospital? Did he think them up on the spot and simply improvise the desired outcomes? Were they perfectly engineered to expose the right sort of qualities in his fellows? Whatever those qualities were. House seemed to like being challenged, but to keep up with him was a task in itself. More often than not it ended with mockery and grimaces from her colleagues who were thankful it wasn’t their blunder. Thirteen sat leaning back in the chair with the fold out desk, just like she had done through countless lectures at med school, and then grad school, and then as a student doctor, and now here as a fellow at the Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Her hands were clasped loosely in front of her and a quickly cooling cup of coffee rested on the small desk. House began outlining his new challenge, saying that he needed to know who could break the rules and not get caught - something about it being a valuable quality in a diagnostician. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need you…” House began, in his usual throaty voice, “...to steal the thong of Lisa Cuddy.” After a pause and a brief look around the room, obviously reading it on everyone’s faces that they weren’t sure if he was being serious he added, “Not kidding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Behind her Thirteen heard Foreman’s newspaper crumple as he no doubt looked over it with a raised brow, silently questioning House’s judgement once again. She looked around the room and saw the other candidates with furrowed brows and looks of concern. The only way to assure themselves a spot after the next round of arbitrary cuts was to somehow get ahold of Dr. Cuddy’s underpants. As the dwindling group shuffled out of the room, excused from their assembly by House and set upon their mission, there were quiet murmurs of disbelief. Confusion. Despair. Each of them had no doubt of House’s sincerity in carrying through with his threats. As they walked through the hallways of the corridors, herself, Amber, Taub and Cole the discussion of course was absorbed mainly in whether or not any of them was going to attempt to swipe the thong for House. Taub suggested they all forfeit, and that way there would be no winners or losers, but of course Amber wouldn’t submit. The blonde doctor was of course going to do it, and Thirteen knew immediately she would be nominated for firing. She knew Amber didn’t like her, and especially didn’t like the interest House had shown in her life. Thirteen sighed and rolled her eyes. She left the group and headed toward the magician, who was being seen by Kutner. The magician seemed healthy enough, not presenting with any outward symptoms or discomfort, and seemed happy to take herself and Kutner through a routine of card tricks. Thirteen had hoped for something she could diagnose, or research, or test, to distract herself from the non-optional task of participating in House’s game, but she was having no luck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She returned to the break room and made herself another cup of coffee. It was going to be a long day, barely an hour into her shift and already time was dragging. Thirteen was drawn from her thoughts rather abruptly as the sound of distant alarms caught her attention. She put her almost-full cup of coffee on the bench and headed toward the sound. Around her were hurried people all coming from the clinic, with soaking wet scrubs and coats. A fire alarm. In the clinic. The clinic where Cuddy works </span>
  <em>
    <span>most of the time</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Great. Her competition had either already succeeded or failed miserably, and she hoped desperately it was the latter. As she continued toward the clinic Thirteen saw Amber, completely soaked and looking flabbergasted and irritated in equal measure. Following her eyeline across the room Thirteen saw Taub, and Cuddy surveying the calamity from behind a glass wall - they were both completely dry. She breathed a deep sigh of relief, confident in Amber’s defeat. Thirteen doubted very much that Taub or Cole would be able to think of a way to part Cuddy from her thong that didn’t involve sex - not that either of them would have a chance with a woman like that. Dr. Cuddy had electric blue eyes and a sharp jawline, the severity of which was only offset by the earnestness of her expressions and the way the very tips of her ears would on occasion poke out through her curls. When she wore her hair up Thirteen would find herself looking too much at Cuddy’s long neck and the visible muscle structure there. The woman had delicate shoulders but a strength about her that made Thirteen want to look more, and find the origin of it. She was a curious woman, someone who was able to run a hospital and also put up with House - it was a mystery to her. Thirteen imagined Cole or Taub getting close to her, close like Taub was now, and cringed inwardly. Their bumbling attempts at seduction falling on deaf and reluctant ears. No, if anyone was going to get Cuddy’s thong the old fashioned way it was her. Thirteen smirked, her thin lips spreading out across her face in a smug smile as she imagined the woman shaking under her touch, at the heavy breaths that might escape her long and slender neck. She could feel her cheeks heating up and decided to return to the magician to see if Kutner had made any progress on identifying an illness to diagnose. Thirteen had a crush on Cuddy, sure. There weren’t many people in the hospital who didn’t. Not even House was immune to her charm and piercing blue eyes. After all, he had bidden them all with the task of stealing her underwear for him for goodness sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kutner had decided to give the guy an MRI, it was going smoothly until about two seconds into the procedure when he started screaming in pain. Thirteen and Kutner ran from the observation room to the patient’s side in moments, inspecting his body for evidence of wrongness. And there it was. A giant purple discolouration underneath his skin - internal bleeding. She ran to the phone to schedule emergency surgery and after the surgery team had hooked him up to heart rate and BP monitors they whisked him down the hall to find the source of the bleed. The two colleagues turned competitors returned to House’s office to update him on the patient. They were going through the motions of hypothesising a diagnosis when Taub walked in and tossed a pair of lacy black panties across the room. House deftly caught them with his walking stick and immediately concluded they couldn’t be Cuddy’s, because the colour didn’t match the bra the Dean of Medicine was wearing that day. In any other hospital, in any other office, this situation would have seemed absurd, but it was par for the course when working with Dr. House. There was a reason Foreman couldn’t find a job at another hospital and it had everything to do with House. Thirteen had felt her breath catch in her throat when Taub confidently walked into the room and proclaimed himself the winner, and a wash of relief overcame her a few moments later when his claim had been disproven - dashed by House in seconds. Her job was on the line, and her future. As much as she hated the idea of it, of using Cuddy like that, she had no other option. While the rest of the room returned to diagnosing the magician’s sudden internal bleeding she was only half paying attention. Simultaneously scheming about how she was going to steal Cuddy’s thong for herself. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Thirteen found herself outside Cuddy’s office sooner than she had expected. She was nervous, sure, but the anticipation of what she was about to do sent slow jolts of electricity through her limbs. It filled her fingertips with a hyper aware sensitivity. The young doctor took a deep breath and exhaled through her mouth in hopes of expelling some of her nerves before she made a fist with her hand and knocking on the large wooden door marked with the name Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine. Thirteen tried to not make direct eye contact with the lettering, feeling as if the inscription knew her plan already and would eject her from the office. She closed her eyes briefly and steeled herself. She hadn’t felt so nervous since her first day of placement as a student all those years ago. But it was either this or she find herself a new job, and that really wasn’t an option for her right now. Besides, if she had to be fired in the next week Thirteen much rather it be for kissing her boss’s boss than being side-swiped by Amber. She reflected on these options momentarily, rejecting the latter almost instantly. From beyond the heavy wooden door she heard Cuddy’s voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come in.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirteen turned the doorknob and pushed past the threshold, meeting the Dean’s friendly and warm expression with a smile of her own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Hadley, what can I do for you?” Cuddy shuffled some papers on her desk and cleared them out of the way, making sure that the younger doctor felt welcome and heard, a tactic Thirteen had noticed her using a lot recently. Cuddy must feel sorry for her, she thought. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Cuddy - I was just wanting to check in and make sure everything in the clinic was running smoothly after what happened today.” Thirteen stepped into the room and walked toward Cuddy’s desk, being sure to make careful and deliberate eye contact with the woman sitting opposite her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The older doctor smiled and seemed pleasantly surprised by her enquiry. With House around it surely wasn’t usual for someone to make an effort to check in with Cuddy on how the hospital was going. Thirteen mused that it had been quite some time since another doctor had engaged her in earnest conversation without a hidden motive. She felt a pang of guilt climb through her then, because her motives weren’t honest either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Cuddy began to speak Thirteen took a seat at one of the chairs facing the woman’s desk. Signaling to the Dean that she intended to stay for longer than a passing remark about the clinic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh. It was a total shitshow. The fire alarm was triggered in one of the consult rooms - but get this - nobody was supposed to be in that room today </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was locked with a swipe card. So either I’ve got a faulty fire system and the whole hospital needs to be checked, or I’ve got a rogue doctor intent on flooding the clinic.” Cuddy spoke quickly, clearly agitated by that morning’s events. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirteen smiled, it was rare to see Cuddy lose her cool, or perhaps more accurately it was rare to see Cuddy lose her cool in the proximity of Dr. House. A private discussion in her office without the guy making sarcastic comments was safe territory. “I take it you have your suspicions about who might have set it off?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cuddy sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Thirteen’s breath caught in her throat momentarily as she imagined carrying out the same action with her own hand. “You know, I don’t. The only person I would have thought would do something like that is House - if he didn’t want to do his clinic hours or whatever - but he didn’t have any hours today. But I’m sure you know well enough by now that a fire alarm going off for no reason </span>
  <em>
    <span>reeks</span>
  </em>
  <span> of House.” Here the woman paused for a moment, “Has he been… I don’t know, asking you guys to cause chaos or something? I just can’t believe Kutner is legitimately that clumsy y’know, and now this.” Cuddy waved her arms around in the air gesturing to the general direction of the clinic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young doctor shook her head and laughed. “No, he hasn’t asked us to flood the clinic - or any other part of the hospital.” She held Cuddy’s gaze for a moment longer than she should have and saw the woman blush ever so slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, you must think I’m nuts. It’s really not usual for the Dean of Medicine to be accusing her staff of attempted flooding, I know.” Cuddy slumped back in her chair and rubbed her forehead with one hand. Thirteen watched the muscles in her forearm tense and release as she manipulated her long and elegant fingers into the mundane action. She swallowed dryly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no.” She answered quickly. “I totally get it House is… well House is House.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A small smirk crept across Cuddy’s lips. She nodded gently in agreement. “House is House.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two women looked at each other for a moment. Thirteen, leaned back and relaxed in the chair as she was, watched as Cuddy’s eyes roamed over her body. First her lips, her jaw. Down to her collar bones, her breasts, and back up again. Absentmindedly the Dean dragged her teeth across her bottom lip and breathed deeply before looking away at some unimportant document on her desk. It seemed Thirteen’s mission of espionage would be easier than she thought. The gaze of the older woman had sent jolts through her body, and made her heart race. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirteen stood up slowly and walked around to Cuddy’s side of the desk. The older woman seemed not to notice her new proximity, or at least, didn’t want to. Thirteen felt a familiar feeling manifest in her chest - a combination of butterflies and exhilaration. From this new closer distance the younger woman could smell Cuddy’s perfume, and was intoxicated by it. Admittedly, she had lingered too long in the past when the delicate fragrance clung to the air in hallways Cuddy had been down recently. The scent was unique and fresh. Thirteen could feel her pupils dilate, it was a strange but pleasant gentle tingling in her eyes as the increased pace of her heart in-turn elevated her blood pressure. She leaned down toward the woman slowly, making eye contact with Cuddy the entire time. As she got closer Thirteen could see the blush spreading across her cheeks and the telltale pounding of her heart through the pulse point in her neck. To Thirteen’s surprise Cuddy was the one who closed the distance first. The older woman’s mouth on hers was exceptionally warm, and exceptionally soft. The sudden closeness of her was delightful. The only details that stood out this close were the smoothness of the woman’s skin and the dark frame of curls around her face. Thirteen reached down and put her hands on Cuddy’s jaw, that formidable thing, and gasped into their kiss when she felt its shape under her fingers. She had thought about running her fingers along its well defined edge for some time, since she first laid eyes on the Dean, truthfully. Cuddy stood and was suddenly level with Thirteen, her hands grabbing at fistfuls of the white lab coat she wore every day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the next instance two things happened almost simultaneously. The first, when Cuddy’s mouth opened wider allowing the older woman’s tongue to pass insistently across Thirteen’s lips, who returned the open-mouthed kiss with vigor, and the second - when the two womens tongues met, all slick and warm as they did, Cuddy moaned into her mouth sending tidal waves of current through Thirteen’s lithe body. The younger woman turned them around, so the Dean’s back was pressed into her desk. The woman was using her long and slender arms to pull Thirteen closer, and deeper into their kiss. To hold her in place right where Cuddy needed her. The older woman was wearing a skirt that day. No doubt it was how House intended to verify whether his fellows were successful or not, but in that particular instance all Thirteen could think of was the heat she could feel coming through the thin layer of fabric. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger doctor, who was completely overcome with arousal, could barely think with the guttural stream of sounds Cuddy was making into her mouth. Somehow she managed to reach down and lift the woman’s skirt - who then smiled into their continuing kiss. When Thirteen’s skilled fingers came in contact with the textured lace of Cuddy’s thong her brain short-circuited. The older woman broke the kiss only to let out a throaty groan that made her cheeks turn pink. Lisa Cuddy was wet. It made Thirteen smirk because this should definitely not feel as good as it does, and the older woman definitely should not be as wet as she was for a quickie in the office with a virtual stranger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re into me.” Thirteen chuckled gently, and spoke with a deeper voice than she had anticipated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cuddy was panting and managed to breathe out a quick affirmative reply between kisses. “Uh-huh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirteen confidently pushed past the lacy barrier with her fingers and felt Cuddy’s slick heat. The older woman gasped, breaking their kiss, pressed her forehead against the younger doctor’s and looked directly into her eyes with the rich and piercing blue Thirteen had come to dream about. Cuddy’s hips began to rock rhythmically into the young doctor’s fingers as beads of sweat formed on her brow. A string of hushed moans fell from the Dean’s lips as she got closer to release, her body coursing with exceptional waves of pleasure emanating from Thirteen’s hand. Her movements became more ugent and her grasp on the back of the younger woman’s neck became much firmer as she said through gritted teeth, “Oh fuck, you’re going to make me--” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cuddy’s body went rigid as she rode the waves of her orgasm, her breathy gasps pressed tightly against Thirteen’s neck who was panting herself at the incredible display. Lisa Cuddy was exceptionally attractive at the best of times, but like this, coming into her hand all breathless and dishevelled, Lisa Cuddy was something else. The older woman was still breathing hard when Thirteen broke the kiss and removed her hand. She looked confused for a moment before the young doctor knelt down in front of her. Thirteen pulled down the thong - red just like House had said - and slid it off Lisa’s legs. Looking up into Cuddy’s eyes she could see the furrowed brow and look of absolute post-sex anihilation wrought across the woman’s face. It was a good look on her. She ran her tongue just once over Lisa’s cunt to hear her gasp, and to taste her. Thirteen pulled back and stood up, tucking the thong into the pocket of her white coat and kissed Cuddy on the mouth, who’s pupils were blown, her lips swollen and pink, and a look of total surrender on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna keep these, okay?” Thirteen said, watching the older woman’s gaze fall again and again to her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cuddy nodded before leaning forward and planting a firm kiss on the young doctor’s lips. “C-can I, uh-see you later?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thirteen nodded and stepped back from the woman, who remained slumped against her desk. There was no way they weren’t doing this again sometime soon, but first she had to make an appearance at the diagnostic discussions to ensure she still had a job after going AWOL in Cuddy’s office. She took one last look at the Dean, dishevelled and breathless, and exited the office. There was no way she was giving this thong to House. As Thirteen walked in the direction of the nearest bathroom to freshen up, her hand was in her pocket, idly toying with the stolen item of clothing. If not giving the panties to House meant her job, then so be it. She had introduced a stalemate anyways, no one else could turn in the thong if there was no more thong to get. Her lips tingled at the absence of Cuddy’s. She could have stayed in that office all day with the woman. She was mesmerising when she came. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some time later Thirteen found herself drifting down the hallways toward House’s office. She could see through the large glass windows that the group was being lectured by House about something. Nonchalantly she came in and sat down at an empty space and listened to House prompting the fellows to give him any information on their challenge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just saw Cuddy in the clinic, which by the way is an inch deep in water, and thanks to some mysterious and shall we say selfish poltergeist it appears that she is no longer wearing underwear - which means either she coincidentally just happened to take them off between this morning and now, or the second option - which I think is far more likely even though it is completely outrageous - is that one of you has managed to separate the Cuddy from the thong and has neglected to share it with the rest of the class.” House ogled his eyes at each of the prospective fellows to gauge their reaction. Thirteen played it cool, like she always did, and he passed over her with little regard. They continued to discuss potential causes for the magician’s internal bleed, as well as pressing House about how he would decide who was getting fired if the thong was nowhere to be found. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could see down the corridor that Cuddy was headed towards the office with a determined look on her face. As she swung open the glass door and stepped inside her gaze lingered a little too long on Thirteen and absent mindedly rolled her tongue in her mouth. The subtle action was noticed by two people who had profoundly different reactions: first, Thirteen felt an intense heat pool between her legs and a blush rise up her neck from under her collar, and second, House’s eyebrows raised so far up his face so quickly that Thirteen was sure they were about to detach and launch off his forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on!!” Was the only exasperated cry that managed to make it past House’s lips. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey everyone, thanks for reading my short story! I hope you enjoyed. I'd love to hear what you thought! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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